Its 8:15 a.m. and I stand here in the bus stop waiting for the office
bus to arrive. I stand here in the same manner as I did a few years
back waiting for my college bus. Little did I know then that things
would change so much in 2 years; the sky under which I am standing
seems to be looking at me and smiling .. It is perhaps the only thing
that has acted as a witness .. watching the transformation of a loud
and bubbly person into a quiet professional.

 

I wouldn't blame the professionalism for the change though. It is
destiny, or may be you could call it life. Yes Life, esoteric in the
true sense, for one does not understand why you meet hundreds of people
everyday, work with so many, and still remain lonely.

 

I am now in one of the corner seats in the bus, looking out of the
window watching people trying to catch up with "life" .. It's an hour's
journey and the only company that I generally have is the chatter of
the RJ. I seldom notice the person sitting next to me, for its going to
be yet another stranger or may be you could say another acquaintance.
It is annoying at times when the radio is switched off, not because I
am cut off from the melody but because I would now be thrust with
thoughts of the solitary journey ahead.
 

I can't help thinking about the short bus journeys to college ... well
it's a paradox to call a distance of 30 KMs "short", but that is how it
always seemed. A typical college day always begins in the bus with all
the familiar faces; you look forward for all your friends to get in
from the various stops, the reasonless giggles, the loud laughter that
were stifled to avert the eyes of the lecturers and professors who
would watch on us as if we were their prospective prey for the day ...
well as I said it was a different life then. The pleasant memories of
college are in itself good enough to save me from the misery of the bus
journey.


I notice that it is time for me to get down and flash my smile of
acknowledgement to all the known strangers that I see as I approach my
cubicle. A few of my colleagues greet me with their morning wishes and
as always, we exchange our pleasantries. Discussions jump to the
weekend plans and I wonder what I'd do over the weekend.


It would be just another day staring at the mobile, wishing it would
ring and bring back some wonderful moments that are now missing in life
or maybe the safer option would be to come to office, for it's my new

founded asylum these days. A few years back, weekends or weekdays
didn't matter to me, I was always busy. I always stood doubting the
authenticity of the wall clock that seemed to be in running too fast to
perceive its movement. Alas, now it seems as though my clock is
suffering from some kind of paralytic attack.

 

There is a time in life, where one needs to go ahead, leaving behind
your friends and carrying along only memories. You do make new friends,
but then you never get the old close ones ... you do meet people who'd
be so good to you that you could tell them anything and everything, but
you do not find a person to whom you needn't say things ... friends who
just know you. Occasional calls from such friends, have been the only
thing that I seem to look forward to ...However, I cant help but notice
the uneasy pause that lingers around the conversation ..A pause not
because of the relationship, but because it is too short a duration to
say everything, and of course you cannot completely rule out the
paucity of words!

As I sip coffee from the ubiquitous coffee mug, watching the drops of
rain, trickling down the tinted glass panes, veiling the scenic beauty
outside, I tell myself, may be there will be a day when things will
change, when life will offer a rewind, a recap of all the events and I
just have to wait.

Capricious are the ways of life, for I know there would be many who'd
be able to empathize with me, ironically, even the dear ones that I
miss this moment, waiting perhaps...!!

And I keep on waiting......

My Encounter With 'P'

P for Programmer     (Me Of course)
P for People              (Intriguing)
P for Project             (My work)
P for Position           (The Big Fight)
P for Passion            (Computers As Always)
P for Plethora           (Emotions In Me)
P for Pain                 (I Used To Feel Always)
P for PL                    (Project Leader)
P for Pimpalkar         (My PL)
P for Pragya              (Best Friend)
P for Placid               (I Always Desire To Be)
P for Parents             (Rarely Satisfied With Me)
P for Punctual           (I Am But Others Are Not ... IST)
P for Peace                 (In Search Of)
P for Pace                   (Always Threatening Be It Life Or Cricket)
P for Pat                     (Miss On My Back)
 

The list is quite long infact but mentioned the most significant ones only..........

Subha Utha , Nahaya ..Mast Deo Lagaya...
Usko Yaad Kiya Aur Muskuraya...
 
Muskurahat Ka Karan Tha , Kya Sapna Liya Tha Raat Ko
Main Company Ka Ceo Aur My Dream Girl Was My Pmo.
 
Mann To Kiya So Jaon, Swapn Ki Duniya Mein Laut Jaun...
Phir Socha Uski Jhalak Paani Hain Office Mein, Kahin Late Na Ho Jaun...
 
Goggles Lagaya Style Mein, Sutta Niptaya,
Bike Kiya Self Start, Accelerator Maara
 
Pahucha Office...Card Swipe Kara..
Khola Pc ...Lotus Notes Top Par Mail Uska Paaya...
 
Mailbox Dekh Sanatta Chaya..
Uska Mail Ka Subject Humien Na Bhaya..
 
Ek Baar Phir Kiya Mail Ka Subject Check
Oh No ..Not Again..Same Words..."Sweets At My Desk"
 
Darte Darte Khola Mail...Andar Wedding Invitation Paaya...
Lo Bhaiya Lut Gayee Duniya...Mandraya Kala Saaya...
 
Dukhi Mann Se Socha ...Chalo Ek Baar Contents To Padd Le..
Naam Kya Hai Ladke Ka...Details Se Rubaru To Ho Le...
 
Phir Ek Baar Mann Chakkar Khaya...Uska Naam Kahin Naa Paaya..
Mail Ka Phir Se Audit Kiya...Dil Ka Ncr Report Acha Aaya...
 
Mail Ke Subject Se Achi Mail Ke Body Nikli..
Jiski Shaadi Thi ..Woh To Uski Sister Nikli...
 
Bhujti Hui Low Phir Phadphadai.. .
Ek Umeed Jaagi..Asha Ki Ek Kiran Nazar Aayee.
 
Josh Bhare Kadmon Se Rukh Kiya Uske Cubicle Ki Aur...
Ab Sirf Uskee Jhalak Nahin ..Yeh Dil Maange More..
 
Aaj Tak Cubicle Ki Diwaron Se Dekha Tha Usko..
Dekhte Hee Usne Bola ..Lo Dear, Sweets Lo..
 
Humne Suna "Dear" , Humne Kaha Ab No Fear.
Kiya Jhuki Aankhon Se Usko Stare, Uthaya Sweats Ka Apna Share..
 
"Dear" Shabd Kitna Acha Lagne Laga Tha....
Uske Aur Mere Beech Ka Loc Ab Mitne Laga Tha...
 
Baton Hi Baton Mein Usko Bataya Mail Padke Hua Confusion Tha
Reply Jo Bataya Usne, Phir Se Chida Kargil Tha..
 
Phir Se Low Bhuj Gayee Thi, Umeed Mit Gayee Thi ...
Uski Sagai Ki Mail To Ek Hafte Pahle Bounce Back Ho Chuki Thi...
 
Maa Kasam Ek Hi Gaana Yaad Aa Raha Tha Cham Se...
Kasam Ki Kasam , Yeh Pyaar Na Hoga Ab Humse...
 
O Haseeno Sun Lo Meri Iltaaja,
Please Mat Hona Humse Khafa,
Kuch Bhi Ho Jaaye Ab Na Hoga Adjust,
Ab Mat Daalna Mail With Subject "Sweets At My Desk"

My wish for you

Happiness deep down within.
Serenity with each sunrise.
Success in each facet of your life.
Family beside you.
Close and caring friends.
Health, inside you.
Love that never ends.
Special memories of all the yesterdays.
A bright today with much to be thankful for.
A path that leads to beautiful tomorrows.
Dreams that do their best to come true.
Appreciation of all the wonderful things about you.

H ours of happy times with friends and family
A bundant time for relaxation
P rosperity
P lenty of love when you need it the most
Y outhful excitement at lifes simple pleasures

N ights of restful slumber (you know - dont" worry be happy)
E verything you need
W ishing you love and light

Y ears and years of good health
E njoyment and mirth
A angels to watch over you
R embrances of a happy years

Happy New Year

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature.

Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer.

I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it I have it. I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.

My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to all the stories told by her. Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother.

I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face. The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.

The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, he has gone far away from me, taking away my friendship and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.

It's true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body . Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.

Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back.

I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened outlook and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing,

Hi XYZ,

I am looking into the defect and will send the patch files before EOD.

Regards,

Software Engineer.

Its just my imagination of life of a Software Engineer influenced by my own life as I am also a Software Engineer.

Kaun hoon mein, kya naam hai mera
Kya astitva hai mera, kya pehchaan hai meri

Kya hoon mein bas ek kshanbhangur hee
Mit jana hai jiski niyati
Bujh jana hai jiska parinaam

Kya manzil hai meri, kaunsa rasta hai mera
Kyun hai zindagi ek prashna chinha see lagti
Kyun hai har nazar jaise mujhe hi ghoorti

Samay jaise alp viraam sa ruk gaya hai
Eeshwar bhi jaise parakhte parakhte thak gaya hai

Kisi kee kami hai zindagi mein jaise
Saans bas uu thami hai intezaar mein aise

Koi aaye aur pyaar se gale laga le
Dil ki aaj bas yehi arzoo hai.

Hello Friends,

I hope n wish that all of u are fit n fine and doing gr8.Its been long i wrote something on iland..just cudn't compile all the events and write them here, as there is too much happening around me nowadays, its true that i m not fully involved in all the events and i shud call them mishappenings as that suits better but whatever is happening, happening with my near n dear ones or dearest ones u can say including friends and relatives.As there was noone to listen me today and give me mental peace so i thought to write it down here and feel little bit fine and protected and surrounded by some of the most wonderful hearts and brains on earth and thats u all my closest buddies and pals.
I am very confused why its so much of confusions, pains, heartbreakings, tensions, accidents and what not.somewhere somebody is being hit by Blue line busses , or some young boy is dying in short of medical treatment or some baby is drowning in water because of a negligent teacher..i just feel shocked and full of heartache reading all this.
Then again life is moving with the same or even higher speed , i don't say we should mourn on each n every death as death is also an integral part of life cycle but such deaths.....its not fare at all.
I sincerely don't know what i m writing all this and why i m writing all this so please don't take it in wrong sense if i say something very pinching or disturbing its just that I am full of many things and now not  able to make a simple systematic flow of events so things are coming in an uncontrollable flow.
It seems as if life is playing a game with all of us, very vivacious game with our hands and legs are tied and mouth is taped and we have only open eyes and we are left to act as mere spectators, there are no controls given to control this game of life and still we are expected to mould it according to us...how can somebody tell me how...if a guy has made his life studying hard, and made all the efforts and someday some blue line hits him to death or he end his life because of excessive ragging...then whose fault is this, what happened then he did his effort and wrote his destiny with golden letters, still whats the output zeroooo and nothing more than that then how can one say make ur own destiny when there is nothing in our control.
I am fed up with it now..it seems like a worst dream but the night has extended quite long and no sign of light is visible.

I am really tired and just pray to God plzz plzz God only u can help now , please help my friends and those who consider me as enemy also, just mould their minds in good way and make this earth a happier and safer place to live else the suffocation is going to take lives of some atleast some like me and again that will be an unnatural d........

SOS........
sid.

Hi Friends I wrote this poem for my friend who is going to join other company in some days time.

You cared about me, when everything was going hay y

You supported me, when nobody was ready to give a shoulder to cry

You listened  to me, when nobody was eager to give me a try

You were always there, when everybody was shy

You spared time for me, when everybody was busy with their own I

You believed in my truth, when everybody around was telling a lie

You embraced me with smile, when nobody was having time to say hi

And now you are leaving, but I don’t want to say goodbye

I want to spend one more day, one more hour, one more minute with you, because you are my sweetest friend that’s why.

My dear readers,

Is it true that one of the greatest needs is to feel loved? Seems so, but
it's not true!

'The need to be pampered', rather than 'the need to be loved', seems to be
the greatest craving. Is there a difference? When you want others to love
you (only) the way you want to be loved, it is pampering. To a lot of
people, being loved means their loved ones should always be soft on them,
always agree with what they say, never complain or criticize, never push
them beyond their comfort zones. basically leave them as they are, accept
them as they are and not show any signs of wanting to change them. But love
is not love that pampers. Love is love that makes a difference. Pampering
will weaken you. Love will create you.

After all, no man is perfect. There is endless scope to better ourselves.
Except those who love you, no one else cares about whether you improve or
not. In the name of tolerance, pampering will leave you with your
imperfections. Even at the cost of hurting your ego, love will give you
feedbacks to make a difference to you. Pampering works with your ego. Love
works on you

No man can always be right. In the name of acceptance, pampering will make
what's not okay look okay. Love will act as a mirror and reflect you to you
- not as you want to be seen, but as you truly are. The world will punish
you for your wrong; love will endure your wrong and work on making you
right. Only those who love you will tell you that there is gunk on your
nose; the rest will make a joke out of you. Pampering is a mere façade,
wanting to appear nice. One of the most honest ex-pressions of love is the
courage to take the risk of being mistaken and yet being a constructive
critic.

The motivation levels of most people are low. You need someone or something
outside of you to push you. Pampering will sinfully leave you in your
low performing, comfort zone. Love will even dare to risk the friendship to
create the friend. To demand - 'Give more of you to life', is an intense
ex-pression of love. You cannot be left as you are. That which does not
change does not grow and that which does not grow, dies. The call to awaken
one from his slumber is pure, classic love.

Pampering is like boozing. It gives you a joyful evening but nothing about
you may change. Love is like meditation. It may seem that nothing is
happening and yet everything about you will change. Crave to be loved and to
be created, and not to be pampered and get stagnated.

Some friends are like a flower,
and when they finally bloom,
they wilt away in just one day,

Some friends are like a cloudy day,
and when the sun's in sight,
it gets blocked by the grayest cloud
and day turns into night.

Some friends are like a maple tree,
and with the slightest breeze,
the colored leaves, they all come loose
and float away with ease.

Some friends are like a circle,
for they are always true,
I know I have friends like that
and yes, those friends are you.